Nate's Guide For New Dads

Guide For New Dads - Introduction

If you're reading this page, I already know two things about you. First, you're either a new dad or about to become one. Second, you need some help figuring out this whole baby thing. I know, because 18 months ago I found out that my wife was pregnant and I was looking for the same thing.

If you're anything like me, you've probably already discovered that there's not a whole lot of information available to new dads. I read the books, I talked to other dads, and I even tried to talk to women on some pregnancy forums. None of that got me anywhere.

The books all suck. Every one of them. They're either written by doctors or by women, and not one of them has what a guy really needs to know about pregnancy, childbirth, and fatherhood. I'm not saying that I have all the answers, but I do have a little perspective on this. Not professional or medical opinions, not flowery feel-good nonsense written in 1972 - just solid and direct experience.

Now I'm going to assume some things about you. If they don't apply, then you might want to look elsewhere for advice. Don't take that the wrong way - it's just that this guide is probably going to be most useful to men who are like me in a few ways.

First of all, I'm going to assume that you are literate and have a good head on your shoulders. Most of the books I read were so childish as to be disgusting - thin paperbacks that read like a Hardy Boys mystery. These so-called guidebooks made me feel as if the good doctor really felt that every word had to be dumbed down and sugarcoated for us Neandrethals to understand. I'm not going to do that. I'm writing this just like I would talk to you - no frills, no fluff, no polish.

The next thing I'm going to assume is that planned pregnancy or not, you are planning on keeping the baby. And by "keeping the baby", I mean that abortion is not being considered. This is not a personal judgement about those who are considering it. It is simply out of the scope of this guidebook, and there are plenty of good references out there for men in that situation ^[1].

Lastly, I am going to assume that you want to be involved ^[2] in your wife's ^[3] pregnancy, the birth of your child, and raising your child. Again, no judgements made - it's just an assumption I have to make. Many of the books I read assumed that you, the father-to-be, are being forced to be involved. I found that to be the most offensive assumption ever made about me, so when I decided to write this I chose not to insult you in this way.

Enough chit-chat and hand-holding. Let's get on with the New Dad's Guide to Pregnancy: Chapter 1.

^[1] I follow the golden rule. I have my beliefs, you have yours - period. Hopefully I'll be able to find some reference links to put in here soon.

^[2] "Involved" means different things to different people. For example, I guarantee you that your definition of "involved" is drastically different from your wife's definition. If you want to be involved in any sense of the word, that's good enough for me.

^[3] When I say wife, I mean whoever you got pregnant. I'm married, so I choose to use the word wife. Once a woman is pregnant, the words "wife", "girlfriend", "baby's momma", "old lady", etc. become completely interchangeable. Just not in front of her. Trust me on that one.